Dating chronicles of a 40-something woman: trials, tribulations, and the pitfalls of dating…please share your stories!

Have you heard a more unique ex-wife story? LISTEN…

Is there a remedy to premature ejaculation or is it a deal killer? LISTEN…

It was a perfect romance scam. Man is targeted on leading online dating site (not Sparkbliss) and embezzled for $300,000. Sparkbliss interviews victim of this active FBI case.

The sting had a real estate angle. She…(how it unfolded)

Audio coming soon…

FINDING YOUR BLISS - IF YOU HAVEN’T been successful with the usual type of online matchmaking sites, Joel Blatt has a new twist on the traditional web-dating scene.

Blatt, a former vice president at Oracle, maintains that with the usual online dating services, the odds of meeting a soulmate are about the same as winning big in Las Vegas. In other words, about zero.

That is why Blatt developed Sparkbliss, a referral-based dating site launched in March, which Blatt describes as “LinkedIn for dating.” Just like LinkedIn, which allows members to make introductions for networking purposes, Sparkbliss lets anyone be a matchmaker - forwarding friends’ and colleagues’ biographies to potential matches.

While the service is still new, Blatt says the initial response has been extremely positive due to its combination of personal referrals and testimonials, reliable dating references and privacy.

“It’s directly targeted for business professionals who don’t want to waste their time,” Blatt explains. “If you just want as many dates as possible, then Match.com is better than anything else. But Sparkbliss offers a qualitative approach versus playing the numbers game.”

Author: Jasmine Moir

Dating chronicles of a 40-something woman: trials, tribulations, and the pitfalls of dating…please share your stories!

It is a first date, what do you say when he asks what position you like? LISTEN…

It is a second date and he tells you he has herpes — how do you react? LISTEN…

Dating chronicles of a 40-something woman: trials, tribulations, and the pitfalls of dating…please share your stories!

Are you addicted to online dating? LISTEN…

Have you ever met somebody who wasn’t what they represented? LISTEN…

Why is their online dating profile still active if we are seeing each other? LISTEN…

Why not find the humor in dating?

She met a guy…who likes to smash electronics in his house. LISTEN…

He met a gal…who was convinced he was a gay porn star. LISTEN…

Please share your written, audio, or video stories: twid@sparkbliss.com

Backed by research, not pop culture…submit your questions!

Dear Love Doctor:

I am in the process of getting divorced and have recently re-entered the dating scene after a decade-in fact I don’t feel like I really was ever on the dating scene since I have moved from relationship to relationship. I have met a really great guy who I definitely feel a connection with but I am afraid of it moving too fast and repeating the same pattern. Most people I talk to warn me about getting too serious too fast and want me to consider dating multiple people or at least leaving my options open. I guess I just don’t really get how to do that when you like one person and want to see how that progresses - how do you really date other people too?? I want to be fair to myself and fair to others. I would like to get remarried one day but I am not in a hurry and want my next marriage to last a lifetime. What do you recommend?

The Love Doctor’s Answer:

As a therapist, when anyone ends a long term relationship, I encourage them to sit down and think about: a) why they were attracted to their ex-partner in the first place, b) what was it about the relationship that didn’t work out, and c) how are they responsible for what didn’t work out. Can you answer these questions? This process (not the dating of multiple partners) is what will help you not repeat the same old patterns in a new relationship. My guess is that you have felt emotionally disconnected to your ex- for quite some time. So, although you are just in the process of getting a divorce, you have been separated (emotionally) for a long time. If this is true, you haven’t jumped quickly into a new emotional connection. I would encourage you to stop listening to the people you talk to. You seem to have a good handle on your feelings, go with them. You really want to see how this relationship progresses, and you know yourself. If you say you won’t be able to date multiple people, then you won’t. Remember, just because you are getting divorced doesn’t mean that you can’t trust your feelings. But be honest with the guy in your life. Tell him you want (and need) to take it slowly, but you’re definitely interested.

Backed by research, not pop culture…submit your questions!

Dear Love Doctor:

I am curious about your opinion on whether or not that “wow” feeling is something that must be felt almost immediately in a dating setting in order to continue seeing the person. I am in a dating situation with a man who is quite nice and has many great qualities - but for now I don’t get much of a “special” feeling about him. Perhaps the notion of hoping for the “wow factor” is just a romantic un-realistic expectation?

The Love Doctor’s Answer:

I think people know quickly after meeting someone, if the chemistry just totally isn’t there. Typically, this feeling is based on the pure physical attributes of the person. Do I think that “wow” feeling has to be there immediately in order to continue to see the person? No. You also can develop a chemistry, lust, attraction (or whatever the “wow” factor might be for you) with someone. You can actually become physically attracted to someone as you get to know him/her better and as the many good qualities grow on you. There is a time limit here. If after 4 dates, you still don’t feel any physical attraction to this person, it probably won’t develop. Do I think the “wow” factor is just a romantic unrealistic expectation? No. It is vital to have that passionate, physical attraction to your partner. Without the “wow” factor, you’ll have to settle for being good friends.

There is a growing trend of employees losing their jobs based on inappropriate or unprofessional online content.

Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and Match.com provide varying levels of access into your personal lives. It must be understood that your postings and profiles become part of the public domain in an instant!

The internet grants increased visibility as you surrender control of personal information without even knowing it. Unfortunately, employers are taking an interest in what workers post online and the courts are far behind the internet in this matter.

“‘Employment law in most states provides little protection to workers who are punished for their online postings,’ said George Lenard, an employment lawyer at Harris Dowell Fisher & Harris in St. Louis.”

One woman was dismissed from her teaching position at a Pennsylvania High School when administrators found her MySpace profile photo. Another teacher in North Carolina’s Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools was fired for her comments in Facebook. With the lack of legal recourse available to workers, employees are finding that poorly chosen words or photos posted online can lead to termination.

Backed by research, not pop culture…submit your questions!

Dear Love Doctor:

What are the short and long-term trade offs of being in a relationship with someone 10-15 years older or younger? How is it different for guys and gals? I’m curious because my friend married a guy that was about 14 years younger and seems pretty happy. Coincidentally, I have been dating a girl 14 years younger.

The Love Doctor’s Answer:

As we get older, I think age differences matter less and less. Once a person reaches about 21 years old, the importance of the age gap dwindles. Then, it is not the chronological age that matters, but more the emotional and psychological compatibility between the two people which is essential for the health and well-being of the relationship. Rather than “do age differences really matter,” the better question is whether the two people are compatible in terms of beliefs, values, life views and goals.

Some argue that age gaps in relationships can sometimes be related to a “need” of one or both partners. The younger partner, who is with someone 10-15 years older, may be searching for a father/mother figure or for someone who is superior, either socially or financially. The older person, who is with someone 10-15 years younger, may be afraid of getting older and wants to retain their childlike qualities and view of life. But again, from my point of view no matter why you are attracted to each other the maturity of the two people is what matters, not the age gap nor the reason why you are attracted to someone older or younger than you!

Nonetheless, given a 10-15 year age difference, you can run into some obstacles down the line unless you handle or discuss them right up front. If you are thinking about this relationship long-term, one of the biggest obstacles might be if she wants children or a family and you are past that point in your life. Are you on the same page about when and if you want a family? Keep in mind that as the relationship develops, it is vital to discuss the future, not just the present! Some topics to talk about are children, retirement goals and career choices. For example, what if you want to retire soon and travel, yet she wants to continue to work longer? You also might want to think about whether the age difference will affect the activities you do together, such as hiking, skiing, traveling or even how often you have sex. These topics need to be discussed regardless if you are a woman or a man. In any case, remember—these obstacles and questions are not exclusive to a relationship where there is an age difference. These are questions or concerns that everyone needs to consider when they enter a committed romantic relationship.